To be honest, I'm struggling with my attitude in this new church I'm attending.
Problem #1 It's not them it's me. I keep trying to blame them for my attitude problem. a) They aren't my old church. b) They have weird lighting. c) The worship pastor bugs me. d) I don't like the songs. e) They have weird pictures. f) I don't trust Southern Baptists. g) The pastor is talking about a building fund, etc. Unfortunately I could go on and on. I am Way critical and I hate it.
Because in my heart I KNOW those are. . .well stupid excuses. It really is my heart that's the problem. If my focus is on the Lord, I could forebear past my personal preferences for music, and worship styles, and for goodness sake. . .building funds, right?
Problem #2 I am way too distracted and am having an awful time shaking it. There is, well, a lot going on and nothing going on all at the same time. So Much Change has happened and I'm still adjusting from it all, so my mind goes so many places with my new life, responsibilities, and things to come.
Through all of this, I confess, I need help. I've tried to fix it myself, to drum up the self control and discipline to focus. And it's not working.
I'm asking for help, prayer, help me fight this battle I am losing on my own.
This is my prayer:
Lord, I need your help to even be able to worship you. I can't do it on my own. Take all of this, I trust you with it Lord. Thy will be done. Amen.
2 comments:
getting used to a new church is soooo hard! I feel the same way sometimes - if I could just get my heart and mind in the right place, I'd be able to rise above the things that go against my preferences for comfort and familiarity and focus on the One who transcends all those things. But it's NOT easy! I will pray that God is able to refresh your mind and heart before you go in to worship, that He would captivate your thoughts during the service & that you would find peace in the midst of all this change - both present and that to come. I pray that through all this, that you & Kris would find yourselves clinging to Christ & each other in a way you never have before. May your marriage be strengthened and deepened each day as you go through all these adventures together. I so admire the relationship you two have & am thankful for the way Kris cares for you & is gentle with your heart. It makes me happy to see that! Hugs to you, B :)
I can't say anything that Buttercup hasn't already said. But I love you. Examine your heart and ask god if you are where you are supposed to be, Fellowship-wise. He may have a plan for you that is extremely unexpected!
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