Enough

The pastor yells to me from the stage, “Let it die! Let it go! Let it fall off!”.

                The past? The past is familiar! I can be that girl who did that but doesn’t! But pastor brings the Word that challenges. It is finished. You have been made clean. Your sins don’t count against you. 

Then. Stop. Counting. Them. But then I’m not “that girl” anymore, then I’m no one.

                Oh, ok, the past is gone. It’s done. Deal with the now. Ok, I’ll deal with it. I can be that person that deals with it! Do this, run here, clean this, help this, be the person you weren’t, and in this I am earning badges in my own mind.  Until there is nothing to do. No one needs help with anything. Small group is cancelled, everyone is fine. Husband makes his own dinner. My hands are empty. I’m no one.

                And God through is Word asks: “How long will you people turn my glory into shame? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?” (Psalm 4:2)

                Seek false gods? Love delusions? That’s not me…but… Why focus on the past? Because solving those mysteries seem easier then dealing with the present. Why do things for others? Because then I can be in control, my identity can be based on what they think of me. The delusions fade with my false gods.

Then who am I?

                "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Cor 5:16-20)

                Who am I? I am in Christ, that is my identity. That is enough. That has to be enough.